Thursday, March 3, 2011
"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed, and THEY'RE still there!" says Goldilocks.
It looks like the kittens are finally getting their revenge on Goldilocks.......who eats the kittens' porridge every chance she gets.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
"Hey, Ozzy Osbourne must be the husband of the woman who wrote the Magic Treehouse book series," says Vinny.
"Um, no," I say.
"Yes he is," argues Vinny. "Mary Pope Osborne wrote the Magic Treehouse books."
"Well, that's not Ozzy Osbourne's wife, I promise," I say.
"How do you know?" persists Vinny.
"Because Sharon Osbourne is no Mary Pope Osborne," I say.
So I'm thinking to myself, "Leave it to a bookworm to confuse a children's author with a rock star's wife......"
But guess what, Internet?! Sharon Osbourne, music manager extraordinaire is not just a reality TV star turned talk show host. She has authored books including her own autobiography. Sharon Osbourne Extreme: My Autobiography, has a four out of five star rating on Amazon, and has sold over 2 million copies.
She revitalized Ozzy's career and was ranked the 25th richest woman in Britain on the 2009 Sunday Times Rich List.
What an amazing woman! Phew, I'm getting all hot and bothered here. I feel a girl crush coming on..................
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
"Mom, the cats don't like me," whines Gio. "They always sleep with Vinny. They never sleep with me."
"That's not true, and I have a picture to prove it," I say showing him the picture. "See, they love you, too. Now do you believe me?"
"They do love me!" realizes Gio. "Hey, when did you take that picture?! " asks Gio.
Monday, February 28, 2011
When I was a teenager, I didn't have Music Television, aka, MTV. I had to go to my friends' houses to see the latest and greatest music videos. And now, only five years later, I can post the premiere of one of today's biggest stars on my blog.
The medium is the message, baby.
Introducing Lady Gaga's newest release, "Born This Way." I may not be one of her little monsters, but I love her music. And the fact that Lady Gaga generates so much controversy skewing the boundaries of traditional masculine and feminine roles, and sexuality in general.
Artists are supposed to push the envelope and Lady Gaga does it well. I adore her name, which juxtaposes something sophisticated, "Lady," with something a baby would be quoted saying, "Gaga." This is hilarious in my mind.
It's as if her name is talking to me, saying, "Honestly, people don't take this too seriously."
And whether or not she's a man or a woman, doing it with men or women, or a bit of both doesn't matter to me.
It's just sex people. Get. Over. It.
Man or woman, her body is smokin' hot!
"Sizzzzzle fo shizzle."
Though she does have very prominent acromion processes, bony landmarks which are generally larger on men, on her shoulders,
Did I mention I love her new song?
Sunday, February 27, 2011
"Mom, look I'm a hula girl," says Gio wiggling his hips.
"Really?" I ask in amazement.
Internet, between you and me, Gio looks more like a genetically modified cross between Olivia Newton John and Richard Simmons, than a hula girl.
Soon Gio will be chanting, "Farewell to fat, farewell to fat, farewell to fat," while humming the tune for, "Let's Get Physical. "
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Musical Master Jonny Lang.
"How was Jonny Lang?" texts my friend.
"AWESOME!" I text. "One of the best performances I've ever seen."
Jonny Lang wasn't playing music, HE WAS THE MUSIC.
"He was channeling something," says Hubby. "It was kind of scary."
Scary, no. Intense, yes.
Donning skinny jeans, an Eisenhower styled shirt and Chuck Taylors, Lang looked like a teeny bopper when he took the stage.
"Oh my gawd, he is so cute," I say apologetically to Hubby.
Lang has an amazingly sexy, deep, raspy voice. But to my surprise, he is a smooth crooner with the ability to nail plenty of high notes, too. While Lang's vocal range is strong, his guitar skills is the stuff legends are made of.
Hypnotizing is the best way to describe his dizzying guitar strumming. Lang makes love to his guitar, which explains his orgasm face. :p
I loved Lang's cover of Stevie Wonder's, "Living For The City," which was released eight years before Lang was even born. Great music is timeless.
My favorite song of the night, "Lie To Me," one of Lang's biggest hits, started out as an emotionally dark, solo acoustic rendition to a charged electrical jam with his band mates.
Lang brings his heart and soul to the stage, making the concert a mystical experience for me at times, especially on the gospel inspired, "Thankful."
The concert had a garage-like jam session feel to it, and was filled with tons of musical improvisation, making it a personalized experience for the audience. Lang was generous with the stage, giving each band member time to showcase their individual talents. They all gave impressive solo performances.
"Wow, that was amazing!" I say to Hubby, when the concert ended.
"Yeah, it was!" agrees Hubby.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
"Jonny Lang kind of makes orgasm faces when he's singing," I say.
"Who does?" asks Hubby.
"Uh, Jonny Lang, the guy we're going to see in concert tonight," I say.
"Well, good thing were not sitting too close," says Hubby.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Trestles, Uppers, San Clemente.
Saturday morning I dropped Hubby off at the train station, and I've been single parenting ever since.
But guess what, Internet? I am leaving, to pick him up at the train station in a few minutes. My single parenting woes will be over shortly. A to the Men.
He's been sending me pictures all day, of all my favorite surfing spots along the California Coast. He really knows how to get me hot and bothered. Now that's my kind of foreplay.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Ok this video, which you may have seen on Super Bowl Sunday, is laugh out loud funny, Internet. Ozzy Osborne may be the only person alive who does not know what a Bieber is. By the way, I like the Bieb.
Anyone discovered on YouTube is cool in my blog.
Monday, February 21, 2011
"Mom, do wishes really come true?" asks Gio.
"Yes, they do," I say.
"Oh good!" exclaims Gio. "I'm going to wish to be a spy when I grow up. And for a Nerf gun."
Now, of course, I am left wondering, "can I cancel out Gio's spy wish, by wishing he does not grow up to be a man of international intrigue?
Let's hope so.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Yes, another day I wish I had a camera in the water.
"Wow!" says Surfer Dude. "I just noticed there's snow on the hills."
"Me too!" I say. "Pretty weird surfing and seeing snow on the hills."
"Yeah," agrees Surfer Dude. "Amazing!"
And I am happy to report it wasn't even THAT cold. The sun was out, and the waves were delicioso. :)
Saturday, February 19, 2011
My Bestie and I took the kids to the snow today. And by kids I mean Vinny, Gio, Briar Kitty and Nadia the Dog.
It's hard to believe this Winter Wonderland is less than an hour's drive from my house.
"This is way better than Snow in the Park!" notices Vinny.
Frosty and the boys.
Briar on the dash, you know, instead of the mic.
Bee and Nadia
Friday, February 18, 2011
I'm listening to this song, "Lotus Flower," by Radiohead and watching the video with Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke, thinking, "Hey maybe I am cool enough to listen to Radiohead?!"
Though since I love this dubbed version of, "Single Ladies," with Thom Yorke playing the role of the dumped lover, probably not.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The Master, Kelly Slater, of surfing on his barrel craft. My camera did not do a great job on this video. But I can tell you it was really exciting to see him come out of this fairly deep, grinding tube.
If you listen carefully you can hear cheers erupt on the beach as Slater exits the barrel. I have some more videos I'll be posting over the next few weeks.....Stay tuned.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Oh em gee, Internet! Today, while shopping at Target, I discovered an exciting new beverage. And by beverage I mean a drink I can consume without unsightly bloating or passing odoriferous gas.
Pure Almond Milk by Silk, isn't watery or grainy like those other brands. Even better, it doesn't have that unpleasant wax box aftertaste either. It's rich and creamy. A perfect mate for my morning coffee. I cannot wait until 6 a.m. tomorrow!
Did I really just write, "I cannot wait to get up at 6 a.m?" Yes, I did. I think I'm getting drunk off this Almond Milk!
For the past few years I've been having sugar and WATER! with my coffee. I said WATER, not cream, or half and half, or 1%! Not even soy milk, for Peet's Coffee.
Yes, I'm lactose and soy intolerant. Hooray for me! Anywho, it's probably understandable to most people why I am so excited about this delicious Almond Milk, that I want to warm it up and rub it all over my body. Oopsy, I mean drink it with my coffee, tomorrow morning.
Silk Pure Almond Milk comes in three flavors, Original, Vanilla Ice, and, I just wet my pants, Dark Chocolate!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Oh Em Gee, Internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Words With Friends (WWF) is FINALLY available for Android devices. Read: MY PHONE!!!!!!!!!!
Until today Words With Friends, a Scrabble-like social gaming app, was an Iphone/Ipad only app. I was actually considering adding a second line and buying an iPhone just so I could have WWF 24/7 without having to bum Vinny's iPod Touch off of him.
"Vinny guess what app is now available for my phone?!" I scream.
"Pokemon," guesses Vinny hopefully.
"No," I answer impatiently. "What app do I ALWAYS use on your iTouch?"
"Words With Friends?!" answers Vinny.
"Yes," I say.
"Wooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" shouts Vinny. "Now you never have to use my iTouch again!"
We had several, ehem, disagreements over the iTouch. I may have even abused my parental powers a time or two by taking away screen time just so I could have the iTouch all to myself.
"And now we can play each other on Words With Friends!" I shriek. "You can play on your iTouch and I can play on my Droid!"
"Now we don't have to do pass and play," says Vinny. "Yahooooooooooooo!"
I have been waiting forever for WWF to come to Android. Looks like I'll be making out with my phone for Valentine's Day. Good thing Hubby likes to play, too.
My only complaint is the Android version of Words With Friends is free, meaning every time I play a word an annoying spammy ad pops up. Arghhh.
"Hello Words With Friends app makers, I am willing to pay for this app. That is all. Thank you."
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Kelly Slater probably won't be at the beach, but it's such a nice day, who cares if he's there or not," I say.
"Let's go!" says Gio.
"Do you guys want to come?" I ask Hubby and Vinny.
"No," says Vinny.
"Not really," says Hubby.
"There are rocks to climb there," I say in an enticing voice. "It's really nice outside......"
"Okay," says Hubby, giving in to my begging.
The beach was full of cars when we arrived.
"Is anyone surfing? " I ask.
"Yeah, there are five or six guys out," answers Hubby.
We walked down the stairs, and up the beach to the breaking wave. There were seven local surfers out, but definitely not Kelly Slater. Oh well.
Then I noticed someone scampering down the hillside trail looking fit, bald and sponsored.
"Hey that looks like Slater coming down the hill," I say.
"Where?" asks Hubby.
"Over there," I say, pointing. "It is HIM!"
"Gio, there's Kelly Slater, do you still want to take a picture with him?" I ask.
"Yeah!" says Gio.
"Let's go," I say.
And we did!
After a quick picture with Gio, Slater paddles out for an evening glass off session somewhere in the Monterey Bay. I've seen Slater surf in person plenty of times, but never in my home town.
The flash always goes off at the wrong time.
I didn't have my board so I couldn't really paddle out for a session with Slater. But I left my board at home on purpose. I wanted to watch the master on his craft, in hopes that some of his freakish surfing ability would rub off on me.......And I was pretty surfed out from my earlier surf session, anyways........ :)
Slater slaying the barrel.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Photo by Hans.
It seems everyone, except me, has seen Kelly Slater, who is in town this week for the 2011 AT&T Pro Am Golf Tournament.
"Wendy, guess who my friend saw at whole foods?" asks Gio's teacher.
It's pretty obvious who the answer is going to be.
"Uh, Kelly Slater?" I guess, playing along.
"Yes!" says Gio's Teacher. "She said he eats very well."
Barely 1 Hour Later
"Guess who I just saw?" asks a friend.
"Hmmmmmmmmmm, Kelly Slater?" I say, taking a deep breath.
"Yes!" says my friend. "I carried my daughters' surfboards onto the golf course, and he signed them! Are you jealous?"
"No," I say, but I couldn't help feeling a little bit defeated. "Wait you carried two surfboards onto the golf course?" I ask.
"Yes, I live on the 18th hole," says my friend.
Okay, now I'm jealous.
I did try to see him. Twice. I had tickets to attend the the AT&T Pro Am for two days.
Wednesday, I missed him because I had to surf before going to the tourney, since I didn't surf the day before. I couldn't miss two days in a row of surfing, not even for Kelly Slater.
"Where are you?" asks my friend.
"I just got out of the water, I sill have to take a shower," I say, lamely.
It was nearly 11 a.m. and I take loooooooooooooooong showers.
"Wait, are you already there?" I ask.
"Yes and so is Kelly Slater," says my Photographer Friend.
"Okay, take pictures, please," I plead.
And she did because she is AWESOME, and so were her pictures of his forearms, I mean Kelly Slater!
Eventually, I met another friend and we got to the course close to 1 p.m. I think.
"Do you see Kelly?" asks my BFF.
"No," I say. "But I think I see Kevin Costner."
"Oh great," she says.
I felt terrible for dragging here to a golf course for nothing, and even worse, Kevin Costner, so I bought her a churro.
"I can't believe we didn't see Slater," says my BFF. "Oh well, at least I got a churro out of it."
I didn't really want to find Slater for me. I wanted to take another picture of him and Gio together. I had even devised a complicated plan for another friend to drop off Gio and her kids to have their pictures taken with the 10x World Surfing Champ.
It. Was. Going. To. Be. So. Cool. :p
When I saw Gio after school he was pumped to go to the golf course to see Kelly Slater.
"Yay!" says Gio. "We're going to the golf course!"
He likes the churros, too.
"No," I say. "We're not going."
"Why?" asks Gio disappointed.
"Kelly Slater isn't there," I say. "We missed him, again."
"Awwwwwwe," whines Gio.
I thought I'd see Slater for sure Thursday, but I got severely mixed up on the Monterey Peninsula Country Club golf course walking around in circles looking for him.
"Have you seen Kelly Slater?" I ask EVERYONE.
"No," they all say.
Before I knew it, it was time to pick up Gio from school. I was in shock I failed two days in a row.
"There is something seriously wrong with me," I think to myself. "Maybe I'm cursed? I must have used up all of my 'Seeing Kelly Slater Credits,' or something?"
I have seen him a lot. The interview alone, must have used up 80 percent of my credits!
Everyone else has seen Slater, except for me. However, I still had some hope left in me. I may have run out of tickets to the golf tournament, but Kelly Slater is a surfer first, golfer second. I hadn't given up on seeing him at the beach..............
........................to be continued Sunday February 13th, 2011.
Photo by Hans.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
All Photos by the Beautiful Nancy G. Lee.
Ten time Surfing World Champ Kelly Slater may be the fittest competitor in 2011's AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am. Slater, who will be turning 39 tomorrow, and whose competitive dominance spans TWO decades, looks pretty good for an old guy.
Folks, who are worried about the forties may want to use Slater posters for directions to the fountain of youth. I suppose it does help that he has a giant yellow, youthful physical energy in the color spectrum that keeps him ageless, aura.
Kelly Slater ties his shoes just like the rest of us, but his surfing is another story
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
It's not everyday I see a duck on a leash, at the beach.
"What's your duck's name?" asks Surfer Dude.
"Ducky, of course," answers Ducky's person.
Right after I snapped this photo of Ducky perched on Katy The Wolf Dog's back, Ducky went to town.
"Peck, peck, peck," goes Ducky on Katy's head.
"WOOOOOOOOwwww," says Katy unsuccessfully attempting to duck out of the way.
I'm pretty sure Katy will keep her tongue in her mouth, and not think digestible thoughts, next time a bird perches on her back. Who knew birds were mind readers?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Gio and Luna.
As it turns out we couldn't wait the entire 52 days for Chloe to reincarnate. And honestly, I think it's going to take much longer than 52 because she seems to be "hanging around."
Yes, I see dead cats.
Anywho, on Wednesday, last week, my car decided to drive Gio and I to the SPCA after dropping Vinny at swimming. Yes, Vinny's back in the water and much less grumpy on the days he swims, just like Mommy on the days she surfs, which is why she surfs everyday.
Oh right kittens! We found them Wednesday, as I already said. They are everything kittens should be fun, playful, affectionate. And somehow we managed to leave without them. Probably because the shelter closed at 5 o'clock, and they kicked us out.
"Honey, tell me something so I don't adopt those sweet, cute kittens," I beg Hubby.
"Just don't go to the SPCA and you won't have that problem," Hubby says.
"Oh no, you don't understand," I explain. "It's not me, the car automatically drives there all on its own," I say.
Kind of like a nice Japanese-made Christine.
"Well, just get one of them if you go back," says Hubby.
"Okay, if there's only one kitten tomorrow when I go back, I will only adopt one," I promise.
But I knew in my heart I wouldn't be able to separate two sisters, unless someone else did it for me, epecially after looking at all the photographs of Chloe and Shadow when they were babies.
Thursday After School
"Mom, we have to get the kittens today," says Gio.
"I don't know?" I say.
"Maybe we should wait until Valentine's Day," offers Vinny.
"We can't wait until Valentine's Day to get them," says Gio. "That's a special day for those kitties and someone will adopt them. And then we won't get them!"
When we got to the shelter, both sisters greeted us eagerly. I knew then, there was no way I was going to be able to separate two sweet, innocent babies.
Though, when we arrived home with two little fur balls, I thought, "Oh my two kittens, I must be crazy," for about five seconds.
Did I mention they are BOTH so sweet and cute, I can hardly stand it? I love my babies.
I have a funny feeling there are going to be a lot cute kitten pictures coming up on the blog................
Monday, February 7, 2011
"You know what this song is about right?" asks Hubby with a smirk.
"No, I don't," I say, curious.
"It's about, using condoms and having safe sex," says Hubby. "Safety dance, safe sex, get it?"
"Really?" I say, in disbelief.
Actually it's a popular myth that, "Safety Dance," is about safe sex. However,"Safety Dance," is a song demanding the freedom of expression through, dancing, specifically pogoing, jumping up and down like a pogo stick, which can lead to violent slam dancing.
Apparently, in the 80s, bouncers in night clubs threw out anyone pogo dancing, deeming it dangerous. And if you've ever been in, or on the outskirts of a slam pit, you know it's dangerous.
All it took was one ankle mashing by an out of control pogoer, for me to steer clear of slam pits for the rest of my life. Dude didn't even say he was sorry. Rude!
Where was that bouncer when I needed him?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Gio safely flying his space ship through the galaxy.
And then his phone rings. Uh oh!
There is an app that blocks texting and talking while driving. Click the link for more info. Though it is only available on T-Mobile at the moment, it could pave new roads to a safer driving future.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
I think she likes me.
Internet I don't even like snakes, but this is the cutest snake I've ever seen. I can look at her, without dying inside a little. And of course, she matches my aura.
Unfortunately, the boys will be disappointed to know, I won't be accessorizing my aura or my house, with this reptilian beauty in my current life time.